(Written to inspire women to find their voice)
In the stillness of a moment, I can dig through my memories and instantly bring to mind images of myself as a little girl. I can see my long hair and bangs, my favorite multicolored knee socks, (trust me, they were awesome), and all my stuffed animals that found their home on my bed.
These sweet memories that make me smile are unfortunately intertwined with paralyzing feelings of powerlessness and fear.
Now, let me hit pause so I can fill you in on a key point that is crucial to this writing: I grew up with parents who loved me to the moon and back (in fact, they still do). They were my strongest protectors and my biggest cheerleaders. But, even with amazing parents like mine, I still fell victim to the narrative I began to create and believe, “you’re feelings don’t matter so keep them to yourself; you are completely alone in this world so don’t make any sudden movements. Stay quiet, and try not to be seen. If you are seen-FREEZE!”
To say this belief system led me down treacherous roads throughout my life is a huge understatement. Because I subscribed to the belief that my feelings don’t matter (just keep quiet) it led me down the road to toxic friendships and abusive relationships.
It has taken years of study and multiple attempts to loosen the knots of habitual thinking to find my voice. That little girl I told you about at the beginning of this blog now is seen and heard by the adult “me.” The powerlessness once felt has been uncrowned and replaced with the beauty of empowerment. The paralyzing fear I once felt has been dethroned and replaced with the dignity of strength. I remind that inward little girl (who still remains a part of me) that your feelings do matter, and you do not walk alone. Now, she walks the journey of life boldly and unapologetically with the intention of being who God created her to be.
Do I always get it right? Nope! Do I have moments when powerlessness and fear try to rise up? Yep! But, I remind my little self that she exists to be enjoyed (words taken by a dear friend), and she has the freedom to be; to be seen, to matter, to live creatively and without inhibitions.
Now as the adult, I give her back her voice. That same voice I silenced so many years ago. She has my full permission to use her voice to give glory to God; to lift others up with words saturated in care and compassion and to speak audaciously to me using words of truth, kindness, and love.
Indeed, I see you, little girl!
~Jenn Hutcherson
Jenn Hutcherson
918.214.8109
ahutchbettlerlife@aol.com
My expertise is equipping women with tools to lower anxiety and build self-esteem. You can contact me for a free consultation by phone or email provided above.